I never intended to go on any kind of blogging hiatus in August. We were gone three weeks on a visit to the U.S. (eight states and almost 3,000 miles) in a scouting trip of places we may potentially like to live if we go through with a move to the U.S. in summer 2010. I fully planned on writing about my observations of America as we scrutinized it not as tourists passing through (or, in my case, as a burrito-starved expat stocking up on ethnic foods and Ziploc baggies on my once yearly pilgrimage) but as an Italian-American family looking for a better way of life. America is a weird place right now, and I have lots to say. But somehow I never had the time to jot my thoughts down in blog form (the demise of my little point-and-shoot camera at the beginning of our trip contributed to my unexpected silence). We've been back since last week, and between jet lag, H1N1 scares and bronchitis, it's taken me this long to even contemplate posting.
When I was growing up, we'd drive down I-75 every year on our way to visit my grandparents in Florida. Every year around Chattanooga, Tennessee, we'd begin seeing the signs and painted barns advertising "Rock City. See Seven States." My brother and I always begged our parents to stop, but they never did. "Sit back and relax," my mom would always say, which was momspeak for "Shut up. We won't be stopping." I couldn't even imagine what Rock City was or how one could see seven states from one place, so I was hellbent on seeing it on this trip. Unfortunately, as we passed Rock City about ten days ago, it was pouring rain and we were already suffering from the first signs of illness (not H1N1 as it turns out) as our trip wound to a close. Can you really see seven states from Rock City? I still don't know. Are we moving to the U.S. next year? I still don't know.Above left, Lover's Leap at Rock City. Taken from Baywatch 75 on Flickr
11 comments:
I'm looking forward to your posts on the trip and the possible move.
The e-mails I'm getting from friends Stateside (not former expats just regular Americans) stress me out and I don't even live there anymore.
True many of my friends are either Independents, Democrats or moderate Republicans so that might be why they are alarmed by what is going on.
Also sometimes in this 24/7 news cycle things may seem worse than they are. It will be very interesting to read your posts as an American who has been out of the country for 10 years. How did America appear/seem to you?
Maybe it was just my 7 years in Rome and then having a toddler, but I wouldn't move back there for a million dollars right now. Yes, there's a ton of BS here too, but at least you feel like you have a fair shot at making a decent living and pursuing what you want to do without having to know someone or bribe someone. Our situation had become way too dependent on a corrupt system which obviously wasn't going to get us anywhere--wanting to preserve some honesty and dignity! Anyhoo, for us at this point, visiting Italy and living in the US is the best of both worlds.
NYC/Caribbean,
I didn't find people to be as freaked out as I thought they would be about the whole economic crisis. I heard some grumbling comments, but then I really didn't encounter one person who had lost his job. I heard that some companies were doing "creative" things like forcing people to take additional weeks of unpaid vacation or stopping contributions temporarily to 401 K plans. If anything, it seemed like people had perhaps cut back in a good way (ie, buying less useless crap, subscribing to fewer services they never used) but were not particularly suffering. I didn't see any bread lines...I think it will take time to see how it shakes out.
Shelley,
Yes, living here with a toddler I find incredibly difficult. The irony is that you do have help from the Italian family but you NEED help here because of the way things are structured and how inconvenient various things are. We were in the U.S. for three weeks with no help and didn't feel like we needed it as much as we do here. I think our main problem is that we don't want to just pick a place on a map and move. We want to be inspired and excited about the move and just "know" it's the right thing for us. I guess that's asking for a lot, right? Regardless, we will make some kind of big change if only for my/our health. Milan literally makes me physically sick (smog).
Hi Michelle,
I don't know if you remember me but a few years ago I got really sick and ended up in the hospital and you offered to translate any "medicalese" for my fidanzato (who is still in Milano)Thank you for that by the way! Anyhow, Ale is having the exact problems that Shelley speaks of. He will never thrive in his career there because he's just a poor schmuck who doesn't know someone at the top and he doesn't have money to bribe anyone. We decided a while ago that he would move here. It's just a matter of time now. I am going to go there for Xmas to meet the family and such and hopefully he will follow me back here shortly thereafter. Have you ever considered the Pacific Northwest? I've met quite a few Italian expats here who have married Americans and they seem to really love it here. I know I do! Just a thought...
Piccola,
Of course I remember you. Glad you are feeling better. When you pass through Milan, let me know! I've done something like the last nine Christmases here...Eeek.
We LOVE the West Coast, but as I blog about today, we are trying to stay on the East Coast near my family and only one direct flight from my in-laws. I haven't even tackled the whole Italian family situation yet on my blog. My MIL gets teary at the mere mention of a potential move. It will be very, very, very difficult to leave them (and take their beloved only grandchild away)!
Thanks Michelle, I was talking more about the political situation (i.e. the rise of Palin, Beck etc.) more so than work.
I'd be really interested too in reading about your observations in the US after living in Italy for 10 years. I have my own observations, after living there for 4 years, and I had a reverse culture shock, so I can only imagine that 10 years would cause more.
P.S. The US has problems (as does Italy and probably every other country in the world) but I think it is easier with a toddler here than there.
No, it's definitely not asking too much! Making the move is huge. I think you really need a definitive motivating factor to actually go through with it. For example in Rome we didn't have that much family help because of a small family and everyone working full time, whereas here we have a huge extended family and several retired or not working so it makes an enormous difference. But above all our reason had to do with hitting rock bottom career-wise, almost as if there were no choice. Hold out until you are absolutely sure it's the right thing... or see if you might be able to somehow pull off a "trial run" sabbatical type thing for a year like we did. I know it will all work out for the best and you don't have to make a quick decision so you have time to think it through.
No, it's definitely not asking too much! Making the move is huge. I think you really need a definitive motivating factor to actually go through with it. For example in Rome we didn't have that much family help because of a small family and everyone working full time, whereas here we have a huge extended family and several retired or not working so it makes an enormous difference. But above all our reason had to do with hitting rock bottom career-wise, almost as if there were no choice. Hold out until you are absolutely sure it's the right thing... or see if you might be able to somehow pull off a "trial run" sabbatical type thing for a year like we did. I know it will all work out for the best and you don't have to make a quick decision so you have time to think it through.
It sounds like you're going through a 'where should we move?" phase- just like us. In our case it's what country rather than what city shall we move to. I grew up in NYC and Sydney and have family in both places. My husband is Dutch but he's not particularly attached to the idea of moving back to Holland although he would like to move to Northern Europe.
Anyway - being a third culture kid and having lived all over the world I've thought about these issues a lot and what I'll say is that it's virtually impossible to find the 'perfect' place which fits all of your criteria. In our case we kind of decided (for financial and other reasons) that if I get a good job someplace other than Italy we'll go there. Maybe that's just a way of taking the decision out of our hands in a way.
Maybe I'm more Italian than I realise but I really miss the 'knowing people and having a community' aspect of living in
Sydney (where I went to high school and university). When I lived in the US as an adult I couldn't quite accept the way Americans move so much - for college and after. Of course I'm one to talk!
Anyway good luck with it all!
Just the NAME Rock City makes me laugh. To this day we tease my father about it. Decades ago we lived in Tennessee and were on a family vacation when we saw the signs and Dad promised that we would go.
Well, we didn't and the three of us started chanting "You promised, you promised!" And we still use that chant with him, inspired by Rock City. He loves it.
I split my time between LA and Milan--a difficult trip but well worth it.
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