Random work thoughts

I have never really done much copywriting, and now I understand why I don't want to. A friend of a friend of a friend was desperate to have a few things written in a timely fashion. The contact - let's call him Paolo - explained that the fashion brand he works for was about to launch several new collections and needed some press materials put together. It's really not my style of writing but I thought "What the hell. I look at press materials all day so how hard can it be?" Paolo gave me a highly conceptual overview, some very vague indications and a long list of what words and phrases NOT to use (things like "We want to convey the idea of 'handmade' but we don't want to use the word 'handmade' or any of its synonyms"). I could also not describe the collections directly. Uh, OK. He accepted one of my releases right away but was lukewarm on the rest of my drafts. I explained that he hadn't been very clear in explaining exactly what he wanted. He called in his boss - let's call her Maria - to "clarify" things. Maria proceeded to contradict most of what Paolo had said, sprinkled in a few more vague conceptual ideas and added more "don'ts" (a lot of "Try to get across that we are a family-run company that has been around for x number of generations but don't mention that we've been around for x number of generations or that it's a family-run company; make us look modern but with a rich history without saying that..."). I cranked out a few more drafts, which still received a mixed response. These people knew what they DIDN'T want but they had no idea what they wanted. I tried to explain that there is almost a formula (must provide x, y, z information so the journalist has those bases covered in his or her story) for how these things are written and referred to an entire folder full of samples I had.

They kept insisting they wanted something "different" but weren't sure how to come across as different. I was just supposed to figure that out. Well, I have very little patience for that. I don't need paint-by-numbers explanations spoonfed to me but I also can't create prose out of thin air, especially when I have no information to base my writing on. I'm used to starting with the facts or with a concrete idea or concept and going from there. I spent three Sundays working for these people and they only seemed mildly happy with one of the things I did. Nonetheless, I'm invoicing them for everything I wrote because I think it's only fair. This is part of my new "no more Mr. Nice Guy" work strategy. Let's see if I'm able to hold my ground.

Another random observation: how can large, international companies in Italy close down their switchboards at lunchtime, allowing the main phone number to ring, ring, ring off the hook? That's just ridiculous. It's bad enough that nobody has a direct phone number or voicemail and that when you call, you have to go through a receptionist (or whatever impatient and annoyed person gets stuck answering the phone - many companies don't even have receptionists!) who tell you things like, "Mr. Rossi is out. Call back after 3 p.m." They can't even bothered to jot down a message! The onus is on you to call back. I never thought I'd say it, but I miss voicemail. You call, you wait for the beep, you explain exactly what it is you need and the person calls you back with the information. If you aren't around, he or she leaves the information requested on your voicemail. Simple as that. Having to write myself post-it notes all the time or save little "reminders" in my Outlook ("Call Mr. Rossi after 3 p.m.") gets old and just wastes time. My worst-case scenario is when you call a company, Mr. Rossi is out, you ask for his email address so you can at least send your request for information and they tell you to fax it over instead. Aaaaargh - it's almost 2008! Can we throw the fax machine out the window already?! And I'm not even talking about mom-and-pop operations. I'm talking about companies with stores on Fifth Avenue in New York and thousands of employees.